‘The dream is to be a standup, but everyone who knows me says: Please don’t’ – Riz Ahmed on chaos, comedy, and defying categorisation

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His multi-hyphenate career has made him one of Britain’s most versatile recognisable stars – but hasn’t stopped him facing some seriously awkward moments… Riz Ahmed was multitasking. It was February in London, and the actor was doing an interview with a men’s magazine en route to collect his kid from school. So far, so starry. “Here’s the reality,” says Ahmed today, palms slamming down hard on the table. “I’m late for the school run. I’m stuck in traffic. I’m meant to be at my laptop, but I’m having to do it on my phone, in my car. I’m double parked on a double yellow line, doing the interview, looking over my shoulder. The traffic warden’s coming, it’s rush hour. He tries to move me along. I try to get out of there while I’m talking on the phone to this guy.” Distracted, Ahmed hit another car. The driver jumped out of his vehicle, incensed. “He’s like, ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’” says Ahmed, who had been attempting to continue the interview. “I’m now going off video, like, ‘Oh,...
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I survived the Barbie-Oppenheimer double-bill and I don’t recommend it

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The internet has become transfixed with the idea of watching Greta Gerwig’s bubblegum comedy next to Christopher Nolan’s dark drama but it proved to be a nightmarish combo

Few things have caught the public imagination in recent years quite like the concept of Barbenheimer. When Warner Bros scheduled the release of Barbie to run in direct opposition to that of Oppenheimer, directed by embittered former employee Christopher Nolan, the natural response was to pick a side. Both films were so diametrically opposed, after all, that the competition took on a slightly tribal air. Just who do you stand for? Drama or comedy? Joy or fear? Female empowerment or the death of tens of thousands of Japanese civilians?

But then something bizarre happened. Instead of picking just one film, people started latching onto the idea of seeing Barbie and Oppenheimer together, on the same day, as part of a wildly incongruous double bill. Tom Cruise said he was going to do it. Greta Gerwig posed with tickets to both. Despite spending the last few weeks looking palpably baffled by having to play 400 tinpot YouTube parlour games just to promote his movie, Christopher Nolan also seemed fairly into the idea as well. A rising tide lifts all boats, after all.

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