Osiris review – Linda Hamilton drops in to rescue charmingly hokey space-horror

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The fella-in-a-suit aliens resembling past pop culture beasties are a strength of an entertaining abduction adventure An entertaining-enough space-horror, a mishmash of storylines and character types that sees some special forces commandos abducted by a gang (herd? flock? troop?) of aliens whose intentions are aligned more closely with the likes of the predator than lovely little ET the Extra-Terrestrial. The pop culture off-worlders these beasties most resemble physically, however, are the xenomorphs from James Cameron’s Aliens – and not the massive multi-limbed queen, mind you, but the smaller foot-soldier guys who can be played by a fella in a suit. This fella-in-a-suit aspect is the one of the film’s strengths. You might argue that it hinders the willing suspension of disbelief, because you always know you’re looking at a fella in a suit. But in truth there’s something about the physicality of even the hokiest practical effect that is more enjoyable than all but the most skilfull...
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Haunted Mansion review – Disney theme-park chiller is joyless Halloween merch

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Lakeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson and Jamie Lee Curtis cannot save this laborious story of a creepy old dwelling and the awful Hatbox Ghost

There’s scope for a genuinely disturbing and subversive horror set in Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion, the attraction which first opened at the original theme park in Anaheim in California in 1969, with cloned versions appearing at the Magic Kingdom in Florida in 1971 and Tokyo Disneyland in 1983. There’s also scope for a properly funny, amiably creepy Goosebumps-type family comedy based on it. But this tiresome, convoluted piece of corporate IP product isn’t it; like the 2003 film version with Eddie Murphy, it feels cynical – though I must admit I have never seen the Muppets Haunted Mansion special.

This new attempt to cross-monetise the tourist walkthrough is laborious and joyless while the throwaway funny lines, which do exist, only serve in the end to remind you how clunky it really is overall. Writer Katie Dippold has worked on funny movies and TV shows such as Parks and Recreation and Ghostbusters, but this isn’t her A-game.

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